


Freedom

by hopelina



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, M/M, One Shot, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-08 18:22:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7768354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopelina/pseuds/hopelina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sirius goes into hiding after The Prisoner of Azkaban, Remus accompanies him. To the public, Remus is the owner of a dog named Padfoot. But, in the safety of their apartment, Sirius can take human form, and it's a good thing too because the feelings he's experiencing for Remus aren't those between dog and man. But can he gather up the nerve to convey these emotions to his beloved Moony?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Freedom

As I run along the shoreline, each wave soaking my fur with the chill seawater and liberating me from the scorching heat of the sun, only one word comes to mind:

Freedom.

Even though there're so many things I could be worried about, I just need this moment to actually enjoy myself. Right now, I have the opportunity to simply bask in the coolness of the water, the endorphins from my exercise, and the large dose of vitamin D from the shining sun in the sky. All my worries have been just… washed away, even if only momentarily. And I owe it to Remus Lupin.

Even in the Muggle world, I’m a wanted man. However, there are very few who know me in my animal form. This form allows me to be in public without anyone recognizing me. However, if I were to be alone in the muggle world, there is a very big possibility of getting caught by animal control or, worse, shot by one who thinks me dangerous. Wizards aren’t exactly welcoming to stray dogs, either. That’s where Remus comes in. 

To the public, he is my “owner.” He sells frozen muggle treats at a food stand by the beach, and even though he doesn’t make a lot of money it’s even to pay rent at our one-room apartment and put food in our stomachs. And sometimes, when he’s not working, I go to the beach with him.

It’s nice, living so close to the beach, even if living the life as a “pet” in the muggle world takes some getting used to. I have to say, there was a long time when I couldn’t even imagine feeling anything  _ good _ again… I stop in my tracks as I fight horrible memories from resurfacing. No, Sirius, think of something else. I force myself to focus on physical sensations. 

I heave a sigh. I knew the moment wouldn’t last.

As if on cue, I hear a whistle from about a quarter of a mile away. It isn’t until now that I realize how far I’ve run. I turn around to see Remus in the distance, and I run back towards him.

Once I reach him, he squats down in front of me and locks his warm gaze with mine. “It would be best not to go running off  _ too  _ far away,” he advises with an amused smile, petting my head, and I start to feel a little warmth blossom in my previously aching chest. I smile softly.

Physical affection common between man and dog has become normal for the two of us when I’m in dog form. And sometimes he even ruffles my hair when I’m human (which is only when I’m out of sight of anyone but Remus), although I always pull away with a laugh and a witty remark. We also share a bed, most nights (I sleep at his feet in dog form). All this should be awkward, and it kind of was at first, but it’s actually rather comfortable; nice, even. And when I’m not in my dog form (only in our apartment, with the windows covered with curtains) we talk like close friends. It’s only been a couple of weeks since the truth was revealed and he started trusting me again, but we’re making up for lost time.

Remus holds onto my collar, and I try to pull away because I know what he’s about to do. He hooks a leash onto my collar. I verbally complain.

“Hey - it’s the law,” Remus says with a chuckle.

I roll my eyes but say no more.

Remus opens the door to the front seat of his car, and, as I’m about to jump in, he tugs lightly on the leash. I growl in frustration, under my breath.

“You’re not going into my car wet, Padfoot.” 

The downside to acting like a pet in public is that you get ordered around. Though, he does have a point. And, as Remus dries me with a towel, I decide that it’s worth it. It’s like having a personal masseuse. A very attractive personal masseuse. 

Wait, ugh, that’s not a good thing to think. I mean, as true as the remark is, I’ve already lost his friendship once and I’m not going to risk damaging it again. He and I are all that’s left of the Marauders.

Thoughts like that have been popping up too often. I remember I was convinced that I was in love with him for a long time, during our Hogwarts years, and never had the nerves to tell him. The only one who ever knew was James. Moony was always the kindest of our little group of friends, and even with age, I can deny that he’s good-looking. He’s intelligent and tolerant and he has a good sense of humor. Overall, he has a big heart; one I would love to call my own.

But that’s not something I should want right now. There’re too many other things I could worry about instead, such as, I don’t know,  _ the impending rise of Voldemort _ . And, of course, finding a way to clear my name. And being the best godfather that I can from this distance away from Harry.

“Okay, now you can hop in,” Remus tells me, and I’m drawn out of my thoughts. I do as he says, and off we go to our apartment.

Once we’re inside, the door closed behind us, I morph into my human form and stretch out my limbs with a groan and a sigh. I make my way over to the kitchen and pop some chicken nuggets in the microwave. I watch them cook, intrigued by the muggle technology.

“So,” Remus begins. I look at him in the eye to see a mixture of curiosity and concern in his eyes. “Are you willing to share what is it that has you thinking so hard lately? I can tell when there’s something on your mind, whether you’re human or otherwise.”

Just as I open my mouth, completely unknowing as to what might come out, the microwave beeps. I turn to it and chuckle, pulling out the warm plate.

“There have been a lot of things on my mind,” I reply, making my way to the kitchen table and sit down. Remus stands beside me. “Like how odd my life has become. It’s fantastic, being out of Azkaban. Almost surreal. Though I’m still adjusting to all the…  _ changes _ I’m experiencing on this island. It’s like I’m in a different world.” I look at Remus with a warm, thoughtful gaze. “You’re the only thing here that’s familiar.” I look into his  _ striking  _ green eyes, and in no more than a second I look down at my food so I don’t give too much away. 

I start eating. “Funny how it had been over a decade since I’d seen you and yet you’d changed so little. You’re still so kind… and wise,” I point out. I smirk as I add, “And at your core, there’s still a dash of mischief.”

“And you, my old friend, are the opposite. Mischievous, but with great kindness within. Although… I can’t say that you haven’t changed. Your ‘core,’ as you put it, is showing more on the outside than before. You’ve matured.”

I chuckle weakly. “You’re half right; only, kindness isn’t my core. Anger… Grief… Fear…  _ That  _ is my core.”

Remus puts his hand on my shoulder. “And in that, you are not alone.”

I smile a small but genuine smile. I put my hand over the one on my shoulder. “No, I’m not. I’m not alone.”

Something warm and fuzzy stirs inside me, and gives me courage. With that courage comes a decision - a crazy and scary decision, but one that I feel I have to make. I’m not a child; I haven’t been one in a long time, and it’s time to grow up.

I finally look Remus in his wonderful eyes once again, with a shit-eating grin. “You know I used to have this huge, school boy crush on you.”

Que the shock. Yep, there it is. The wide eyes, and even the slightly gaping mouth. But it’s not a disgusted shock, it’s more of a pleasant surprise. That’s good - exactly the shock I was looking for. Now the knots in my stomach can go away... Did you hear that? I said you can go now! Stupid knots...

He quickly gains composure, but, oh Merlin, he’s blushing all the way up to his ears. I knew he was dashing, but has he ever been this adorable? He’s  _ nervous _ . It’s reassuring to me, but I shouldn’t get ahead of myself.

He coughs. “Is that so? If anyone in the group, I would have thought you’d go for James.”

I release a large, single chuckle from my abdomen. “James? No, that love has always been completely platonic. I might as well be in love with myself.”

Remus chuckles nervously. “So… is that your way of... declaring your love for me?”

This whole time, the hands on my shoulder hand remained on my shoulder, gripping it a little harder as time went on. Now, I quickly release Remus’s hand and look at my now empty plate.

“Do-you-want-it-to-be?” I ask, my words all jumbled together. Merlin, I feel like a teenager.

“I-I-” he stutters before hesitating. I bite my lip. Then, with a gleeful chuckle, he blurts out, “Yes.” My head moves on its own, and suddenly my eyes are wide and looking into his. Apparently, it’s my turn to be surprised. “I mean,” he continues, “I don’t exactly have a ‘school boy crush’ on you, but I do… Well, you are quite a catch, and I can’t deny that I do have feelings for you.”

My heart does a somersault, and I smile broadly. “Oh, do you?” I tease, turning my whole body towards him. “How long have you had these ‘feelings’?” I reach up and caress the side of his smooth face.

Remus shakes his head. “It’s hard to say,” he replies. “Time… is a strange thing.”

“Ah.” I nod in understanding. Of course, there was a long while in which he thought me to be the one responsible for James’ death. Just as there was a time where I didn’t have the ability to have feelings for anyone. “Well, yesterday is history, and tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift,” I ramble.

Remus raises an eyebrow in amusement. I chuckle lightly and stand up. 

Our bodies are so close they’re almost touching. Our noses are touching at the tips, and my eyes are closed. Our breaths mingle. Remus’ breath tastes like chocolate (he probably had a fudgsicle at the beach). I wrap my arms around his waist. He laces his fingers into my hair. And finally, after what feels like an eternity of waiting for this moment, our lips touch.

Fireworks. They say some kisses create fireworks and now I know why. I have a rush of euphoric adrenaline. It’s just like the first time I saw fireworks, only without the fear. Just this one soft, chaste,  _ perfect  _ kiss sends electricity throughout my entire being. Remus... I’m kissing _ Remus. _

I deepen the kiss, poking my tongue at Remus’ lips. His mouth opens and our tongues dance until we need to part for air.

“Is it hot in here or is it just me?” I pant with a chuckle. I lower my hand placement on Remus’ back.

Remus scoffs out a laugh, pulling at my arms before my hands can reach the desired point of contact. “Are you serious?”

I laugh. “Yes, my name is Sirius.”

Remus rests his forehead against mine. “I take back anything I’ve ever said about you being mature.”

The heat in my body morphs into warmth. Not lust. Not burning desire. It’s soft, intimate. I feel pure  _ bliss _ .

I hum, drawing Moony close into a hug. I rest my chin on his shoulder. “I love you.”

Remus squeezes my shoulder. “Likewise.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you could, please tell me how I did, and how I can improve. I'm not sure how much of a grasp I have on the personalities of Padfoot and Moony, so I'd like some feedback. Thank you for your support!


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